Friday, September 23, 2011

A Dating Guide for the Undatable: Rachel's 5FOR5

I don't know if I ever told you this guys. But I am really bad at dates. I blame it on the fact that I've only ever been on one. And that was with Kristopher. He thinks it's weird that I've only ever dated one guy, but I  was kinda too busy loving school and going through my awkward stage(even though when I was in it, I didn't feel awkward....which is kind of the key, I think).

Awkward Stage Fact: A conservative estimate of how much I wore this green coat would be every day for three years. Even in the summer.
Anywayz, last tuesday Krister and I had an amazing date. And, upon further analysis (and a forced sense of 5 for 5 structure), I have come up with 5 things one can do to ensure a successful date:
checking out some local 5th grade art
1.Do something that provokes discourse:
Kristopher and I went and saw "Page One" which is some propaganda about the New York Times. 

2.Go get tapas:
This is totally necessary. Do not go for coffee. Do not go for dinner. Go to a tapas bar. 
Do not confuse with topless bar.

3. Discuss it:
Really juice those mind grapes. Open up those brainsickles.

4. After you're done comparing notes, segue into lighter conversation i.e. how soft their earlobes are, or, how you've been secretly taking photos of them sleeping ever since you've been married.

5. Pay for the tapas and NEVER call what you just did a date. Because that will just jinx it. Seriously, or the cat gets it.

Do it to it-


Amber Marie said...

ba ha ha! Topas not Topless...noted!

Anonymous said...

I love this. Especially the first picture and number 5.

Elizabeth said...

You go creeper, take those pictures. Good thing he'll never find out.

Margaret said...

Oh my gosh I love this post as much as possible.